Veins

I enjoyed this. It's full of....mysterious loneliness if that makes sense. Somehow, I generate some feelings of darkness and fear by just reading this. There's something hidden deep within this poem, like a distorted message that's crying for help. Sorry about my bizarre review lol but i love this style of poetry; it gives me chills. However, I sense a feeling of desire and hurt but maybe that's just me. Overall, I see absolutely nothing wrong with this particular piece of work I will definitely check out your other work to explore your unique style of work. Great Job!

I feel like this one is a story of some sort, but I didn't really get it.
I'm thinking that the brackets are simply separating the two.. perspectives. maybe dream and reality? it's intriguing.
I like the way one line starts an idea, only to be finished on the second line, and some rhymes flow really good ("forbidden" / "blood thicken").
while the whole piece confused me, I did enjoy the ending. "Don't go, now is the worst time to leave" - it's such a powerful way to end it, bravo!

I'll check out some of your other pieces, maybe I'll understand your style better.

I barely get what this poem is trying to say but it has a certain beauty about it, that i can't shake. Also i am curious about why you put lines in brackets. I get they are out of the context of the stanza but then wouldn't it have been better to put them as seperate lines on their own between stanzaz. You use nice imagery and words. Some are very random choices, ones i never have seen used before like the gasoline, well done